Life lessons from the college selection process

Allow me to congratulate myself.

I have hit a parenting milestone. I am officially finished with the college selection process. 🙌

This past weekend, my youngest son and I took a whirlwind road trip to The Ohio State University, where he has decided to spend the next four years studying Computer Science in the College of Engineering.

Almost four years ago, I took both of the boys on our first trip to visit colleges. Timmy was a Freshman, his brother, TJ, was a Junior. In a fun coincidence, Ohio State was the first campus we visited. Since then, I’ve been on 19 college campuses (with just a few repeats) over 10 trips in 7 states.

Besides the obvious successful outcomes – two young adults, both satisfied and excited by their decisions – I also learned some lessons that are applicable more broadly.

Here are my top four lessons learned from the college selection process.

1: Your gut really does know.

Both of my boys “had a feeling” when they walked onto the campuses they eventually chose. I didn’t allow the “feeling” alone to be the deciding factor, but when we gave other schools a fair assessment, the ones with the “feeling” ended up on top.

I think this applies to other decisions as well. Trust your gut. If it’s telling you something is (or isn’t) a fit, it’s probably right. Give the decision its due diligence, of course, but listen to your gut when it is speaking to you!

2: It’s helpful to block out the noise.

College application and admission has become a big business. We could have done test prep classes. We could have worked with a college admission consultant. We could have gotten a tutor for essay writing. We could have done all of those things. And more. But we didn’t, because that approach doesn’t align with my values.

I don’t judge any parent who chooses to approach it that way, I just don’t need to be influenced by other people and their approach. And this can be a hard moment of “keeping up with the Joneses.” I blocked it all out and we went about it our way. And it worked for us.

In any decision, whether related to your career or personal life, it’s important to block out the noise. Get in tune with what’s important to you and let that guide your way. Others will do it differently, and that’s OK. You do you.

3: You only need one.

I’m not a fan of this trend of applying to 10, 20, or more colleges, just because it’s easy to do. The more acceptances you have, the harder your decision is. The more rejections you have, the bigger the hit on your mental health.

I think this is true across most decisions, and we can avoid decision overload if we are strategic. Do the thinking up front on what you want and what you are looking for, so that your choices are naturally narrowed down before you get to crunch time.

4: Nothing is forever.

If there was any uncertainty in the process, I told my boys “you can always change your mind if it doesn’t work out.” Changing your mind later doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision, it means you made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. If you later get new information that changes the way you think about things, you can pivot at that time.

When we think of decisions as “forever” decisions, they can paralyze us. This logic – seeing the right decision as the best you can make with the information you have – gives us the freedom to move forward.

For anyone who has college visits in your future, I wish you well. I should also note that I absolutely cherished these trips with my boys. It was a special phase. ❤️

For the rest of us, consider these lessons the next time you have to make a big decision. I hope they help!