The one challenge that shows up in every. single. job.

What is the most consistent challenge I have experienced over my entire career?

Saying yes to too many things. As an individual, and as an organization.

At a mission-driven organization, it’s hard to say no. There’s so much good work to do. When a customer, client, or partner presents you with a need, and it’s something you can help fix, it’s hard to turn down the work.

As a colleague who thrives on collaboration and community, it’s hard to say no. When someone you work with comes to you and asks for your help, and it’s something you have the skills to help with, it’s hard to turn your colleague away.

And don’t even get me started on times when your manager pairs a compliment about your productivity and the quality of your work with a request to take on an additional project that “really, really could use your expertise.” Isn’t yes the only answer?

Here’s the thing: in all of these situations, yes + yes + yes + yes = a fast track to burnout.

This problem permeates every type of workplace – even when you are a “soloprenuer” and are your own boss… you can’t say yes to every opportunity that comes your way.

I’ve adopted two principles to address this problem.

1. Every yes is a no.
2. Scripts for the win.

First and foremost, it’s critical to recognize that every yes is a no. What I mean by that is every time you say yes to one thing, it means saying no to something else. It’s an important filter to pass decisions through before saying yes. “What is the thing that I am saying no to if I say yes to this?” It might be free time or something you can readily give up (like time spent scrolling Instagram). But it might be your self-care routine. Is this yes worth giving that up? Or maybe you need to find something you’d like to give up in place of this thing. A terrible project you aren’t really needed for? Great, negotiate taking on this better project for the opportunity to step down from the other one.

The point here is to think about the transaction. If you don’t at least consider the “no,” you won’t recognize what you are giving up.

And how do you say no when that’s the best decision for you? Scripts can be so incredibly valuable when you are putting in the reps and getting better at something. I’ve used scripts in the past when I was honing my skills at giving feedback. This is no different. So if you aren’t comfortable saying no, carry a list of sentence starters in your pocket (virtual or otherwise) to support you as you build the muscle. Here are a few to start your collection (credit to Dr. Neetu Johnson in ​this post​):

1. I’m unable to take that on right now.
2. That doesn’t align with my current goals.
3. I’m going to pass on that, but thank you for thinking of me.
4. I’m focusing on [current task] right now.
5. I don’t think I’m the right person for that.
6. I’ve committed to something else at the moment.
7. I won’t be able to give that the attention it deserves.
8. I’m taking a break from new commitments for now.
9. I’m afraid I’ll have to decline this time.
10. I need to focus on other priorities at this time.

Notice that none of these have the word “sorry” in them. Saying no is nothing to apologize for!

How do you make sure you are not overcommitting yourself or your organization? Do you have other approaches that work? Share them with the community!