The importance of feedback, Part 1

I’ve been thinking a lot about feedback lately. Behavioral feedback in relationships. Feedback on performance in the job search process. Feedback on work products (in all levels of school and at work). Today I’m kicking off a series on the importance of feedback with two (possibly) obvious statements and one hot take. 

Obvious statement 1: Anything is better than nothing. 

In Fall of 2020 I enrolled in a Masters program at Harvard Graduate School of Education. My first semester I took a course about immigration policy. I took this class with the intention of stepping out of my comfort zone, pushing myself, and taking risks. It was a tough class! We had epic reading assignments, and the five written assignments we had to turn in required a level of creativity and engagement with unfamiliar concepts that was incredibly challenging on a deeply personal level. Each submission felt like a huge risk. I received some feedback (many weeks after submission) from a TA on the first two assignments, but nothing from the professor. I was disappointed, but assumed that this is how it works at a larger University. (To the point here, anything is better than nothing.)

However, for the final three assignments, including the major project at the end of the semester, I received NO feedback from anyone. None. Crickets. Silence. I got a grade for the class (A) but at that point, what did it matter? I felt like I had put myself out there, tried something new, and no one was telling me whether or not I was even close to being on the right track. No one pushed me to reflect on my work, no one challenged me to be better. And I felt like no one had even looked at the work I had put my heart and soul into. Add that to the fact that it was 2020 and the class was on Zoom so I was sitting alone in my office – It left me feeling very unseen and wondering whether I had gotten anything out of the class. (I did, but I am sure I would have gotten more out of it if I had received any sort of feedback. Luckily, this was not the norm at HGSE.)

This “obvious statement” is true in a lot of contexts where one is putting themselves on the line, including during the job search process, which is full of personal risk.. Yet why do people continue to fall short of this minimal expectation?

Obvious statement 2: Feedback is a two player game. 

Too often feedback is approached as a solo sport. “I have some feedback to give you” implies a one-directional interaction. Even the simple addition of “I have some feedback to give you, are you open to receiving feedback right now?” acknowledges the other player in the game. There is always a giver and a receiver and both are human. In the approach to feedback, the humanity of both parties must be considered. And it takes practice to be good at both – the giving and the receiving.

Some of my favorite ways to engage in the two-player version of the feedback game:

• Consider the individual and her context before delivering the feedback. Don’t let context keep you from delivering the feedback, but showing an understanding of an individual’s unique circumstances shows that you understand them as a human, and can make the feedback easier to hear. 
• Give the feedback clearly, yet invite a conversation about it. How did that moment feel from your perspective? Did you see it differently? How can I help you make adjustments to improve in this area?
• Ensure that there are opportunities for feedback to be given in both directions; it is easier to hear feedback from a person who is open to receiving it themselves!

Hot take: Down with the feedback sandwich! 

It is common advice  to layer a piece of critical feedback in between two compliments – a “feedback sandwich.” It is meant to make the experience more comfortable for the recipient, I think.  I get the idea and how it can work in certain circumstances, but as a general practice I have a few issues with it. 

• It’s just so obvious. I can’t help but think of the person who is on the receiving end: “Oh, sure, I see what you did there.” [Eyeroll.] And depending on your relationship with the person and the delivery and severity of the feedback, it can start to break down the relationship.
• It can come across as disingenuous, or worse, fake. Unless the three pieces of feedback are of equal importance and value to the person, the compliments feel silly. Or they can feel like a bait-and-switch and the person will be caught completely off guard and possibly unreceptive to constructive criticism.
• The impact of the critical feedback is diluted. With some folks,  the complimentary items are going to be the ones that stick. Especially if the recipient may have a hard time acknowledging the criticism, couching it between two positives is only going to make it harder. Likewise, if the person giving the feedback is anxious about the critical feedback, it is too easy to gloss over it in favor of the positives.

So what’s the other option?  Be direct, be sincere, and keep the receiver in mind as you prepare to deliver feedback. Be balanced, if and only if you can do so genuinely. Play a two person game and allow the other person to respond. 

Stay tuned! More coming on this topic in the coming weeks. In the meantime, what did I miss? Any other obvious statements or hot takes? Share them below!