Last week I was talking to a colleague about a job lead. In the course of the conversation, he used the term “golden handcuffs” to describe the perks of a job that he otherwise should have left. He said, “the place was a mess and wasn’t using my skills or providing any growth opportunities, but man, did those golden handcuffs look pretty!” Full company closures in July and December (above and beyond PTO), summer Fridays, 100% work from home, and higher-than-market pay. These are the benefits that made him feel trapped – “I’m not happy here, but where else am I going to find what I have here?”
I love the visual metaphor here, and I certainly have coached others through this challenge – and have felt it myself. Maybe you know someone who is struggling with this right now.
Here’s the most important thing – you have to be able to take a step back and recognize when it crosses the line from good benefits to golden handcuffs. A “meh” job with great benefits might really work for you in your current context. Let’s say you are a parent of young kids, and the job offers complete flexibility in terms of popping out to Elementary School events. Or maybe you have an aging parent and you need to be available for doctor’s appointments and to work from their house when needed, and your current job gives you that flexibility. In these situations, it might make sense to stay where you are. However, I would always advise you to keep looking critically at the impact the “meh” job is having on you personally. As soon as it starts taking a toll on your physical, mental, or emotional health, it’s time to prioritize yourself over the golden handcuffs. Remember Jane?
If your situation is not as clear cut as the examples above, I recommend considering WHY you feel tied to (or handcuffed by) the good benefits. If your reasons fall into either of the following categories, it’s time to take a step back and reconsider.
- Guilt/loyalty: Let’s be honest, I have stayed in jobs because I felt a sense of loyalty to the organization and to the people who worked there. I felt guilty leaving people I liked (especially those who I managed) and somehow my gratitude for the opportunities that had been afforded to me overshadowed the fact that I had grown out of the role. We see versions of this on social media all the time – “your company will replace you as soon as you are gone, don’t put your loyalty to your company ahead of your loyalty to yourself.”
- Fear/lack of self worth: Sometimes we are afraid that we won’t find another job with great benefits, or worse, that we don’t deserve them. (Women especially can fall into this trap.) If you hear your inner voice saying these things – don’t listen! You might not find the exact same benefits somewhere else, but you won’t know until you try. Often, a rewarding job is a benefit in and of itself that far outweighs the golden handcuffs you are currently wearing. And if you are questioning whether you deserve it, stop, The answer is YES, you deserve to be in a job that fulfills you and treats you well.
Good benefits are great things for an organization to offer employees, and can contribute to better retention. AND … they shouldn’t be used to make up for poor workplace culture.
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