Youth is wasted on the young.
I don’t really believe that, but there are certain times that it feels just a little bit true. I am working through the college search process with my youngest son, just a year after wrapping up the process with my oldest. For me, this is one of these times where I wish I could be “young” again – after having a little experience.
To be clear, I was incredibly happy with my selection of undergraduate institution and my experiences there. I have absolutely no regrets. But something about going through this process with my kids makes me wish I could do it all over again. A college campus just offers so much possibility! Endless opportunities. Learning. What an amazing time of life.
From my soapbox with the benefit of a rear view mirror, here are some of the lessons I have tried to share with my boys.
- What you make of it is more important than where you end up. There is a school for EVERYONE. Don’t succumb to the pressures around you to find the BEST, MOST SELECTIVE, PERFECT place for you. When you get there, wherever it is, you will make the most of it. And if it’s not right, it’s not permanent. You are always in control.
- Take advantage of this opportunity. It is very likely that this is the last time your primary responsibility is learning. This time is a gift. Yes, it is hard work. But it can be life changing. Don’t just go through the motions – put yourself in it. It’s also the best place to try new things. This is something I perhaps didn’t do enough of. (OK, I have ONE regret. Did I say I had none?) I didn’t study abroad, and I now wish I had. It wasn’t a life changing decision, though – I made it what I could.
- Have an open mind. You might think you know what you are interested in – but there is a very good chance that that will change.
- And of course, have fun and be safe. What kind of mom would I be if I didn’t include that one? Yes, fun is a big part of the college experience. And I want them to have it. But yikes – the stories I read now as a parent scare me. We won’t go down that road today.
While this started as a post about college kids – now that I see these ideas on paper, I’m realizing that they are not just applicable to college students. These lessons work for career decisions and professional outlook as well.
- What you make of it is more important than where you work. You can fail to make the most of a “perfect” position, and you can turn almost any less-than-ideal situation into an opportunity for growth and development.
- This time is a gift. Don’t waste time in ways that don’t serve you well. You deserve more.
- Have an open mind. In all situations. Think about every challenge from a different perspective. Be open to changing your mind.
- Have fun and be safe. When in life is this not good advice? Take care of yourself AND seek joy, even in small moments.
What other advice for young people works for those of us navigating the different stages of adulthood as well?
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