Feedback is essential when you are doing something risky. Something brave. Something that challenges you. While receiving feedback in those situations can be scary, the absence of feedback in some ways feels much worse. In the first installment of this series, I wrote “anything is better than nothing.” This is the minimum bar. When someone produces work for you or takes a risk in their work, give them something. Anything at all to recognize their effort.
If you have time and the mental capacity to do more, by all means do more! High quality feedback can literally change a life. It doesn’t have to be long and in-depth, it just has to be genuine and given with the intention of growth and support.
Today I’m not talking about giving grades or making edits, but engaging with people’s ideas in an authentic way. Today is about the power of conceptual/emotional feedback as opposed to technical feedback.
Here are two examples of feedback that “did more”:
Take a stand
Prior to taking a course called “Double Binds, Glass Cliffs, and Concrete Walls: Exploring Women’s Experiences in Educational Leadership”, I would have described myself as someone who had big ideas and opinions, but kept a lot of them to herself. I had enthusiastic debates in my own head and heated arguments with politicians or parents on the soccer field – arguments that never actually came out of my mouth.
In this course, the professor wanted us to take a stand. Hedging or dancing around a topic wasn’t going to cut it. And the thing is, I didn’t have a problem taking a stand, I just avoided voicing it. So I felt like my written assignments were risky – I was doing something that I had never done before.
My first set of feedback was hard to take. It was critical. Loving and kind, but certainly direct. I wasn’t used to being criticized or pushed about my ideas in my written work – in part because I never took many risks in the content I was writing about. But after the initial sting, the feedback provided the boost I needed to be clearer and make a stronger argument. The second assignment was an improvement, with some additional pieces to address. And I will never ever forget the feeling of pride when on my third written assignment I got these notes:
What can I say? Fantastic work with such a strong voice and position. I ate it up. Keep lighting fires, my friend!
You are on fire and I am here for it!
Had I not gotten the critical feedback on the first paper, I would never have pushed myself to do better. This, in turn, encouraged me to take more risks with my writing outside of class. (Hence, a few years later, a blog, a newsletter, and a bigger writing project to be announced soon…) All of this was made possible by some genuine engagement with my writing and a few lines of constructive and useful feedback.
Bowing in appreciation
My second example comes from a friend. She is a doctoral student in care ethics, a program which requires incredible amounts of vulnerability, compassion, and empathy. My friend has these qualities in spades, yet it can be an emotionally draining journey. In a recent paper, her professor provided feedback in a way I had never seen before.
Throughout the 19 page paper, the professor dropped comments in blue font directly inline in the paper’s text, as if in a conversation with the writer. The comments were informal, but so full of meaning. “Bowing in appreciation” and “Astute observation” were a few of the encouraging words. “Insightful question” followed but a prompt for deeper reflection. She included connections to other resources that came to mind, poetry, quotes from class readings. The returned paper felt like a conversation between colleagues, with both parties contributing, not a simple statement about the value of the paper. I know from watching my friend receive this feedback how significant the impact was on her and her work. I see a shift in her energy, a refilling of the tank that fuels her area of study simply because this professor engaged so deeply and so genuinely.
To be clear, I am not suggesting that this level of feedback is realistic or possible in all contexts, or even most. I’m simply offering an example of how when the time, capacity, and content allows, feedback this real can make all the difference to a person who is pursuing their passion.
Do you have a story about feedback changing the course of your career or fueling your passion? Share it below!
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