4 Tips for Navigating Networking Events

Let’s say you are invited to a networking event. Maybe it’s cocktail hour at an in-person conference you are attending or a virtual coffee chat on Zoom. Which of the following best describes your response? 

• “No, thanks. Sounds like a perfect time to take a nap.”
• “Talking to strangers?! Sign me up!”

I’m sure there are some people who love these events, and there are lots of possible responses between these two extremes, but most people I know are resistant at best. 

The fact is, networking can be very important and is a good skill to build. I feel fortunate to have built a decent professional network over the years, but it was fairly low-effort on my part due to the opportunities provided to me in my various roles. I’m at a place now where my career transition is forcing me to work for my network. I have participated in more networking events in the last month than I probably did in the 20 years prior, and while I am still building my chops, I have learned a few things. 

1. Virtual or in-person? Start where you are most comfortable. I don’t know about you, but I find it overwhelming to walk into a big room where people seem to be confidently speaking with people they already know and to expect to walk up to a group and jump right in. There’s something about a virtual event that forces some structure – you either get put randomly into a small group (rather than having to walk up and elbow your way into a circle) or have to be called upon by the moderator to speak. This can ease some of the anxiety associated with these events – and I’ve found them easier to manage. A virtual event is also a lower investment on your part – if it is truly terrible, you can always leave and you haven’t invested in travel time or other costs.
2. Structure helps. Personally, I find structured networking to be the most effective. The whole thing doesn’t have to be structured, but some structure can help to get the ball rolling. Structure might come from the organizers, or you can build it in yourself (see #3) Here are some approaches that I have appreciated in the past.
   1. In person: Last year I was at a convening for Chiefs of Staff at different organizations. Some of us knew one another, and others (myself included) knew no one. Dinners at these events can be difficult for those of us who are introverts and lack previous connections. On the first evening, we had a structured dinner with an assigned “host” and predetermined questions. There were rules – no side conversations, the conversation had to revolve around the question at hand, and everyone had to be given an opportunity to respond. It was the only dinner I have ever attended in which I truly feel like I got to know everyone at the table.
   2. In person: In a more casual setting, the organizer could use simple prompts and a timer. “Find a person (or a group of 3-4) you haven’t met yet, introduce yourselves, and then each respond to this question: [insert question here]”. Repeat a few times with different questions and different groups for the first half of the time, and then leave the remaining time open for ongoing conversation. This gives flexibility for those who want it, and support for those who need it.
   3. Virtual: Provide a specific question as a conversation starter. At a post-conference networking session I recently attended, the instructions were: “When you get into your breakout room, introduce yourselves and then share your biggest takeaway from the conference. You’ll have 20 minutes for your first group and then we will reshuffle the groups.” This allowed us to jump right in and then the conversation flowed easily from that point. 
3. Prepare. This is the one thing I didn’t do earlier in my career that I now do consistently – and wow, does it make a big difference!
   1. Even though you already know who you are, the fact is that when put on the spot it is very easy to end up bumbling through a long winded explanation, or – worse – drawing a blank. I always take a few minutes to write down my introduction, specific for the event I am attending, and put it somewhere I can see or pull out if needed. I generally don’t need it, but it feels good to have thought it through! 
   2. You can also prepare a question to have at the ready. Awkward pauses are (for me, at least) one of the worst parts of networking. And I tend to fill it with drivel (that I will likely kick myself over later) if I am not prepared. Have something at hand that you can ask the people you are talking to if there is a lull in the conversation. 
   3. Take a look, if you can, at who you might be meeting. This advice is particularly important when you are possibly going to meet someone you admire from afar. Who hasn’t been starstruck and tumbled over their words when meeting someone amazing? Remember – those people are people too – and you can use the same preparation for meeting them. You can, of course, include an “I’m honored to meet you” or “I love your work,” but don’t feel like you need to prove your knowledge of their lifetime achievements or ask probing questions about their scholarship. Those can come later after making the connection. 
4. Above all, shake the imposter syndrome – literally everyone has it! You are worth meeting, I promise. At the 2024 Women in Publishing Summit a few weeks ago, I was a first time attendee, haven’t written anything other than emails and project documentation, and signed up because I have a book “in my head” that I’d like to write. In my first networking session, everyone there was a published author, some multiple times over. I started introducing myself as a “baby author” which got a laugh, but when I shared my book idea, I not only got a ton of positive feedback, but also walked away with a list of people who wanted to talk to me. I most certainly felt like an imposter on the way in – but that feeling was quickly put to bed. No matter what you bring to the table, you bring your own unique experience, and you ARE worth meeting.

As I said, I’m still exercising these muscles. What works for you? Let’s build a bank of networking tools!